Barely Holding my Sh*t Together: Life as a ADHD, Tattooed Mom of Two

Welcome to my corner of the internet! I’m a 42-year-old, tattooed mom of two wonderfully nerdy and vastly different boys. If you’re anything like me, you know that parenting can feel like a full-contact sport where the rules change at every damn turn. But let’s get real: my life is a wild ride of Fortnite, messes, endlessly begging people to take showers and do the dishes, and the daily struggle to keep my just now learning about ADHD and how to manage and cope with it, (had and struggled with it FOREVER, but newly disgnosed at the ripe old age of 42). All while navigating the beautiful chaos that is motherhood.

So grab your coffee (or wine, I won’t judge) and let’s dive into the quirky, sometimes frustrating, yet all-consuming world of being a neurodivergent mom!

The Backstory

Growing up, I was the quintessential quiet kid—awkward, introverted, and full of quirks that often left people scratching their heads. Immersed in the world of gymnastics and dance at just 2 years old because of my propensity to climb and jump off of anything and everything, I was always moving. Highly gifted in school, basic things couldn't keep my attention. I was quickly evaluated and moved to the gifted program so that I could be challenged. Even then, I knew something was just different with me. I didn't really fit with the other nerdy kids... I didn't study... EVER; I didn't communicate or work the same way they did. In order to concerntrate on absolutely ANYTHING, I needed to be doing something else in conjunction. For example, to listen to a teacher give a lecture, I needed to be drawing - they don't like that! New teachers would complain, but that would stop once I was able to repeat a lecture word for word from the last 5 minutes of class when they thought I wasn't listening. I thought I was just strange, but little did I know, I was living life with ADHD and disguising it behind my introverted curtain and copious amounts of coping mechanisms/masking behaviors.

Never ever did I realize that all those little quirks—forgetting names, losing just about any personal item, forgetting where I was going while driving, zoning out during conversations, and interrupting everyone, ALL THE TIME—were actually signs of something more significant. I just thought I was an awkward little weirdo.

As my life progressed into adulthood, I became a master at masking my ADHD. I perfected the art of pretending to be "normal," which often meant overcompensating at work - always needing to be the best little overachiever at my job, managing my home - well, kinda... this, is my biggest area of struggle to be honest, and ultimately diving into motherhood. I thought, “Hey, this adulting thing can't be that hard, right?" Spoiler alert: It absolutely fucking is!

What Being an ADHD Mom Looks Like

Now add two boys of vastly different ages into the mix - 7 year gap between these fools, currently 19 and 12, a husband with significant mental health concerns (I'll talk on all that at another time) and you get a beautiful tornado of farts chaos with me, the ADHD mom trying to keep my head above water. Some days, it feels as if I’m juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope, other days I'm a badass bitch with everything under control.

The Good, The Bad, and The Messy

Being a tattooed mom with ADHD comes with its fair share of challenges, but let’s talk about the good stuff too. For one, my brain is constantly brimming with creativity. I find it easy to think outside the box, which means my boys often get to partake in some pretty epic game nights and arts and crafts sessions.

But on the flip side, trying to keep up with dinner time? Forget it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve burned dinner or even forgot to make anything because I lost track of time or got distracted by one of the many “projects” brewing in my head. And let’s not even get started on the endless pile of laundry - ALL THE FUCKING LAUNDRY!

The chaotic charm of a lived-in home.

The Perks of Being Quirky

Instead of feeling embarrassed about my quirks, I’ve learned to own them! I am 100% unapologetically myself - I mean, I do apologize for EVERYTHING, CONSTANTLY, but regardless, I am me and I own my shit! My tattoos tell stories—each one a snapshot of my life journey, and they serve as great conversation starters. Just don't randomly try to touch them - so annoying! They remind me to embrace my individuality, which has become a significant part of my identity as an ADHD mom.

Mommy Meltdowns: The Real Struggle

Listen, no one talks about the fact that motherhood, mixed with ADHD, can lead to some downright hilarious and utterly embarrassing meltdowns. There are times I just lose my sh*t over spilled water or a chaotic LEGO explosion. It’s not pretty, but it’s real, and it’s part of the journey.

Sometimes, I need to remind myself to take a step back, breathe, and find the humor in these outrageous situations. Mommy just momentarilly lost her shit - we will be back to regularlly scheduled mommy after she reheats her coffee for the 16th time and lets the dog out.

Tips for the Days You Feel Overwhelmed

If you're a fellow ADHD parent feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, I’ve got some tips to help you navigate those rough days:

1. Create a Routine: A loose daily schedule helps me stay on track. I know, I know - you've tried. Try again... pill out one of those 97 notebooks or planners you have chillin in a pile, or even buy a damn new one - AGAIN. Salient reminders—like setting alarms for important tasks—don’t hurt either.

   
   

2. Embrace Flexibility: Sometimes life throws you a curveball. Learn to adjust your plans without piling on guilt or the inevitable anxiety that comes with it. It’s OK to order pizza for dinner!

   
   

3. Ask for Help: Don’t hesitate to lean on your partner, family, or friends. It takes a village, and you shouldn’t be afraid to use it. I will admit, this one, I am absolutely not good at.

   
   

4. Find Your Tribe: Surrounding myself with like-minded parents and people may just be a game-changer. I will be transparent here - that is what I'm here for and why I am sharing my story. We need to share our struggles and victories, laughing through the journey together. If you are anything like me, you feel really alone - LIKE A-FUCKING-LOT.

   
   

5. Practice Self-Care: This can feel impossible when you’re knee-deep in parenting, but even a few minutes of solitude or a quick walk can work wonders for your mental health. Yes, that is much easier said than done, especially on the days where the executive disfunction is disfunctioning.

   
   

In Conclusion

Being a 42-year-old tattooed mom navigating life with ADHD is both an adventure and a challenge. I still find myself tangled in moments of chaos, laughter, and the continual juggling act of motherhood. But through it all, I choose to embrace my quirks, showcase my tattoos, and laugh (usually at myself).

So to all the neurodivergent parents out there, remember: you’re not alone, and you’re doing amazing things—even when you feel like you’re barely holding your sh*t together. Let's own our journeys through this beautifully messy life we’re living. Cheers to us, and to all the hilarious adventures yet to come!

Each tattoo tells a story of the artist's journey.

Here’s to the wild ride that is motherhood—embrace those quirks, celebrate the chaos, and never forget to laugh along the way!